sometimes, its hard putting into words everything you want to say especially when you’re angry. been typing and deleting everything for the past 15 minutes. so many things to say yet i dont know where to begin with.. let me see..

wondering what really happened huh? ok, i’ll tell you what happened…

well, i was on my usual happy mood when my dad’s so-called friend came to get his "monthly allowance". i wont explain the details why he have this allowance ok.. maybe next time… anyways, so i gave him the money, hoping that he’d leave, so i could read my emails… or so i thought. so he started to ask questions…how’s the business? my parents? my daughter? and then,… he asked me… HOW’S REYMAR? My God! as if he doesnt know! hello? so i told him that i think he is fine, and happy. and i also told him that I AM HAPPY too. and he gave me that LOOK! what look?,  you might ask… nakakaloko na nang iinis! that LOOK! hey, dont get me wrong ok? i’m not being ungrateful. basta! Grrrrrr!!!!

Kuya Edsel once told me not to mind these kind of people. But , as much as i wanted to ignore them… i couldnt! one time, a relative told me that the reason why i didnt "fight" for this marriage was because "manlalaki" ako.. ( yup! she used the exact term!) and others ( mostly relatives ) think that i want to attract guy’s attention  by wearing tight fitting shirt!!!  Hay!!! Oh well! thats the reason why i stopped attending family gatherings…( Ooopps! but before i did that, i, once and for all, told them that things happen for a reason, that we did our best to make this marriage worked but…,  that he is happy with his new girl, that they’re getting married this month, that i’m totally ok with it, and finally, i told them to mind their own business.. hehe)

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Kung iisipin natin lahat ng sasabihin ng ibang tao, we would never be happy. Just like what Stephen said on his blog, even if you tried everything to please everyone, may makikita’t makikita pa rin silang mali… So, to hell with them! Do whatever makes you happy! As long na wala ka naaagrabyadong tao.And that my friend, is what I am doing!

If you want me to talk nonstop about someone… that would be about my lil angel…

She was born on

January 7, 1999

, a normal delivery. I could still remember during my labor hours, I asked the nurse on duty if I could bring my celphone inside the labor room so I could call all my friends. Yup, not even a labor pain could stop me from using my cel! Hahaha. 

I already know that she would be a girl so me and my friends have been thinking of names, some are outrageous mind you.. I wanted the first letters to be R and M., for obvious reasons of course. From Reysol Marie, Rizza Myrzel to,  at last, RENEE MARGARET.

From the day she was born until her 1^st birthday, everything was being recorded by me. All her 1sts… 1^st food she ate, 1^st day she crowled, her 1^st word/s.

I nicknamed her Bney. ( ba-ney) Being a text addict, I intentionally removed the letter a. ala lang.. para cute. Hehe…

Like her dad, she loves to act. She joined pageants at a very young age and she always win.  1^st Runner-Up Ms Cavetican at the age of 2, and 2^nd Runner-Up Little Miss Jollibee at the age of 4. Bney also excels academically. Best in Math, in Science .. to name a few. Sometimes I wonder what have I’ve done to deserve her.. ( yabang na nanay eh.. hehehe)

She’s never afraid to express what she feels. Loves to hug and kiss… traits she got from me.

Like every mom, I want to give only the best for my Lil Angel,  My World, My Life.  I admit, oa na nga minsan eh.  But who could blame me? She is indeed a Gift from God….

I’ve known Leezel for 12 years. I was the one who approached her and introduced myself. Since then, we became good friends… Our college days were never been a bore.. Imagine, a kikay girl and a boyish lass!!! There was this one time that we pretend to be lesbian lovers! Damn! We’ve fooled a lot of guys then! Hahaha!!! We both love to draw so we always end up designing some of our shows. She was very vocal about her feelings towards my ex. She disapproved our relationship. But being a good friend, she supported my decision. Whatever makes me happy… or so I thought.  It was her vacation when I first heard of the annulment. I cried…. And she never left me.

Like Leezel,

Myra

has been my best friend since college.. We share a lot in common. Sometimes, people mistaken us as real sisters. We both love to shop, have the same style. And we end up owning the same item, without realizing it.  Even in our personal lives, we have so many things in common. We got married on the same month of the same year, when I got pregnant, the next thing I knew, she was too! I could sense when she had problems and vice versa.

Reyna and I have been classmates and good friends since our high school days. Yup, that long! But we parted ways during our college years. It was one of our barkada’s wedding when we got together after a long time. Since then, she never left my side when I needed her. She never got tired of my sentiments. But don’t think that she never contradicted me… she always does. And I appreciate it a lot. Sometimes I really need a someone to tell me that I don’t live in a fairytale world.

I met Vangie through my psychic friend. Though I know that she is a good friend of reyna. We instantly clicked. One thing we had in common aside from frequent visits to psychics,  is we love to eat! A lot! Hahaha.  Girl, wish I could break your five-hour kiss! But then again… you alone could only do that….

Winnie… 

our valedictorian in our batch.. and our miss intrams too… definitely, a beauty with brains…  you never fail to make us laugh when you made comments to our topic, sometimes, not aware of it… a “ brutally frank” person…

Oscar…

Mr. survey, mr. o-scary-a-but, mr. know-it-all.. these are some of the names we call this person… the joker of the group.. and a good one!

Romie…

ahh.. everyone knows  you were my 1^st love… now, you’re my best guy friend… as I’ve said in my testimonial.. you always gives the best advise.. whether I admit it or not…

Edith and jun…

just thinking of you both make me believe that there’s still a happy ending… that love really conquers all… haayyy….

Jan and benjie…

the maniacs of our batch.. hahaha…. Badboys with good hearts…

Roselle

…

You have this strong personality that any man cant stand… thank you for being on my side when everyone “at the other side” was justifying his actions…

and Michael… 

You found me on friendster… ( allelluia to them!) you never fail to make me feel special ( child? nyahaha!) with those long hours of texting and phone calls…

itz hard 2 fol nluv agen wen ur stil attchd 2ur past. u must learn 2 let go & open ur heart 2sum1 elz… 4me, itz not easy 2do.. but sumtymz  "u jz hav 2".

ang MAYABANG mahal ka na ayaw pang aminin. ang TORPE mahal ka na ayaw pang sabihin. ang PAKIPOT mahal na ayaw pang sagutin. pero ang TANGA, minahal mo nat lahat  hindi ka pa rin mapansin.

f u fol inluv & u got hurt, dnt shed 2much tirs or ask him 2 luv u agen. insted,  stand up tol , b proud, & say " ganyan talaga ang magaganda.. HINDI BAGAY SA TANGA."

I askd an old hermit how i’d know if sumtin was rili special… sabi nia, "wen itz d only thing dat countz.." akalain mo… paglingon ko, andun ka.. nagbibilang.

wen u luv sum1 giv all d luv u cn offr. remember itz better 2b d1 fooled dan 2b  d1 fooling sum1. at least n d end, u know dt ur true wen u sed .. I LOVE YOU.

we may luv d wrong person, & cry 4d wrong reason but no matter how things go wrong 1 thing sure, mistakes help us find d ryt prson dat r meant 4 us.

wen u love, u r xposing ur heart.& wen ur heart s xposed, u r risking it 2 get hurt…but den agen, d happiness it brings is all worthwhile.

" Never better!"    Emma Watson in Harry Potter

" Ooohh… ahhhh.. hhmmmmm…. yeah!"   Meg Ryan  in  When Harry met Sally

" I’m only just an ordinary girl, asking a boy to love her."   Julia Roberts in Notting Hill

" I’d rather have one touch of your hand, one breath of your mouth, one strand of your hair than an eternity without it." Nicholas Cage in City of Angels