Feb.1, 2006…. my birthday… i dont have any extravagant plans of celebrating it.. just want to spend it with my family and my daughter … it was a busy day for me… i went to my usual daily chores.. visit Carmelite Monastery.. and bought palabok and cassava at Susie’s.

It was lunch time when i i received a text message from her. I’ve been waiting for this since the moment i opened my eyes. It was a text message telling me that the papers were ready to be picked up.. what papers were these? My copy of the decision of the annulment. But to my dismay, it was a text message telling me that she dont have it yet coz of some reasons…Hopefully, before the day ends, I’ll have my copy.

The day went on so fast… We ate the food, have a little chitchat with my daughter and I checked  my emails… My friends either texted me or emailed me to greet me a Happy Birthday. One by one, I thanked them… I got busy that I almost forgot the thing I’ve been waiting for until…

7pm when she texted me again. and finally, she has the copy with her. I told her that i’d picked it up at their shop.

I went there, together with our driver , picked my copy and had a small talk with them.

Since my day started bad, i ididnt read the copy until I went home and made sure that bney was asleep.

There, alone at our living room, I started to read it. i dont know if i want to laugh, or cry at what i was reading…. but definetely I was so FURIOUS!! As expected, I was the wicked witch, the villain of this "tragic lovestory" and he was the oppressed one, the martyr. She paid for the annulment anyway . Damn it! It’s like experiencing the whole thing all over again! and it’s more painful!

He was a battered husband,( am i that strong? he’s 100lbs heavier than me for pete’s sake!)  i spent every single centavo we have on our credit card to my vices ( never had a credit card and dont plan to have one… )i didnt respect my in-laws, ( huh? ) i always go out with my friends as if I’m a single woman, ( yah… once a year) abandoned my daughter, ( who abandoned whom?) and had a two-year affair with someone i met through phone, eventually admit it and he forgave me … Fuck!!!

Though i know the truth, still, it was painful not because i still love him, but because i’m damn afraid to lose my daughter. that he’ll use this bullshit to seek custody to my child. I cant lose her. I’l die if this will happen. She’s my life, my world… and She’s all I have…

( Honestly, I really dont know how to end this blog, coz I still dont know what will happen tommorrow. the Only thing I know is that God loves me and that He will never let me down. )